The Newbie………

Posted February 3rd, 2015 by stacey

So our house has been a very dreary place as of late.  We have lost so many of our dogs lately that it seems to have sucked the life out of our house.  We have Gatty and he loves to run and play stick but he is NOT a house dog by any stretch of the imagination, and as I have said before CeCe is not a good house hound iether cause she is a beagle with a snout for trouble and if there is any way to get into it she will find it very fast.  And we tried.  OML we have tried with them both.  We can’t stand that it is so quiet and even though we are both home we feel lonely.  We love each other but when you are accustomed to having a furbaby with you all the time when they are gone it’s miserable.  And we sit on the couch together and it’s just not right.  We spend all the time in the world together but our hearts are just broken.  there is a HUGE hole where once there was love and laughter and funny antics by the furbabies now there is sadness and tears from both sides.  We hate it.

Friday night however as fate would have it we found a litter of pups, aussie/border collies and they were just listed and we heard about them and made a call.  Well I made a call and set an appointment to just go get some puppy breath therapy, thinking that might help to ease some of the hurt.  Puppy breath is something that cures my heart, don’t ask me why but it seems to anytime I have been really down.  There is just something about a cuddly puppy with the sweet puppy snuffin breath.  Kinda like a newborn freshly bathed and lotioned up.  You just want to snuff them up!

Anywho………So I made the appointment to go and look at them as it was only a few blocks from work and I had to be there anyway and had other errands after that.  Just to see what else is out there in case something fell through on the litter I am waiting till July for.  It’s a long wait let me tell you and I have a fear of something happening and iether the breeding never takes place, or there is not a puppy in the litter that picks me………I have major fears right now about alot of things and that is just one more that keeps haunting me.  So I prayed on it and thought about it and asked for the path and the right thing to do and something told me to go looking.  Not to buy but to look and keep it in mind just in case something didn’t go as planned.  So I made the commitment and went to look.  I thought many times about cancelling out and not going but something we pushing me to go and see.  I even dreamed that I told them I couldn’t make it and then I woke up crying in my sleep over it so at that point I just went.  No expectations, no wants to take one home.  Had to be perfect or nothing and I was set on it not being anything spectacular and leaving with nothing more than a happy heart to hold a puppy for a bit and snuff it.

But……….then…………I get there, and this one little pup out of the 8 is under the cabinet, the others are all over me biting and pulling on me and jumping up being crazy, not a cuddler or puppy breath to be gotten, when all of a sudden, as soon as I sit down on the floor with the others, this little thing, sprints out, jumps in my lap, crawls up my belly, into my jacket, onto my chest, sticks her nose under my hair on my neck and proceeds to fall asleep in my jacket and my arms.  INSIDE my jacket, she was there before I even knew what the heck she was doing.  And she stayed there for the hour I was there, just quietly sleeping in my jacket and never moved a muscle except to lick my neck a time or two and sigh.  It was KISMET!  The only other dog that ever did that was CHIEF.  I don’t know if it was some devine intervention or what or maybe she just needed out of the chaos and needed me as badly as I needed her but it was just done for her.  She was screaming pick me pikc me I am the perfect fit to your needs.  It was the hardest thing ever to put her down and walk away with out her.  When I put her down she crawled off and went back to under the cabinet and laid down.  She cried when I left the kitchen and all the other pups and talked to the owner for a few minutes, a long sad sorrowful cry…………I knew I was in trouble then.

I went back to the shop, and worked all day beside the hubby, and when it was all done for the day I texted the guy to see if he still had her before I tried to broach the subject of a newby in our lives with him.  I knew he said he wasn’t ready after the other dog and he was still working thru it but I really didn’t know what to do.  I knew when he said that he still had her and she was the only female left.  He had placed all the girls but her and they only had 3 boys left but she was still there, so I had to talk to the hubby, there was just nothing else I could do.  I did it and he was very good about it.  I tried to tell him that I was afraid to ask cause I knew he might not be ready but he told me he knew that I needed it and that it wasn’t about him, he wanted me to be happy again, and smile and laugh and color and be me.  He knew I needed this and that if one of them had said pick me Im perfect for you then it was to be and we would go and pick her up and look.  I wanted him to be ok with it I wouldn’t take her if he wasn’t able to put him whole heart into it as well and that is what made the other dogs what they are and were.  Chief was so special because we made him that way.  He was what we made him, he was showered with love and attention and he was so awesome cause he was just made that way!  We did that and he picked up, it was far to short a time for he had a job to do and he did it so well that is why it hurt so bad to loose him but he was all that cause we put our hearts into him as he did with us.

So I didn’t want to get another one that he wasn’t ready for and he wouldn’t put his heart into as it wouldn’t be fair to the puppy at all.  But he said that he just needed a push and that it wasn’t about just him this was for us and me as her wanted his wife to be happy again and I had lost it since I lost my Chief.  So we went and talked to them again and met the wife of the owner of the pups and she spilled the beans on this puppy.  Apparently when I had gone to look at them earlier, he had asked alot of question and we had talked and he liked what her heard and saw so much that he told people all day long including his wife that had been at work that they were not going to give that puppy to anybody else but me.  He could have sold her to every person that had come that day cause she was in the corner and quiet except when I was there.  She was his and his brothers favorite puppy to begin with and they wanted to keep her themselves but she was not a good fit for their house so they wanted her to go to the best home possible.  Not that they didn’t want all the pups to go to the right homes and they were being picky about where they all went, but she was special and if they didn’t find the very right home they would find a way to keep her themselves.  But they knew when she came to me and saw us together that she had to be mine.  they apparently waited all day for me to call back and tell them I was taking her and when they finally got the text they were very happy.  He had told his wife about me and how the pup reacted and that they couldn’t let her go to anyone else.  She was so delightful to meet and she was great and when I walked in the house she heard my voice and came out and jumped up on the gate and woofed at me, and the minute hubby saw her he said that she must be the one for us with out even knowing that she was the one that I wanted.  I picked her up and she immediately crawled into my arms inside my jacket, up on my chest and put her nose under the hair on my neck and that is where she stayed till we got home.

Hubby is just adoring her, and he even picked her name.  DAZEY………….like daisy but different…………..She is a joy to behold and has healed us in so many ways you can’t imagine.  The other dogs are great and they actually enjoy having the room to roam outside and so it’s all good at our house.  Hubby even took her outside a few times to potty and stayed a bit late this am to have some quiet time with her before he went to work, but told me that he was working a short day so she didn’t have to be home alone hardly at all.  He is thinking he should take her to work with him so that she isn’t alone but then he thinks that it might be a bad thing cause he would have to take her outside to potty and would worry she would catch something and he can’t have that so home it is, better safe then sorry and if she has to have a couple hours of alone time it will be ok till she is fully vaccinated and safe to be out in public.  He even said that he will be sure to take his shoes off outside the front door and leave his slippers insde the door to be sure that when he is out doing service he doesn’t bring anything home to our baby.

He is so taken with her she has totally stole his big soft heart.  He just melts like butter in sunshine when she looks up at him and wimpers.  he is so whipped!  And she is like therapy for our hearts.

So welcome the Newbie…………..DAZEY……………’s hoping for a long and happy life with her.

Oh and in July we will be getting another one for company if one comes of the breeding and says pick me too!!!!

happy and smiles all around and healing better……..happiness has returned to our house……………..


another one down……….

Posted January 29th, 2015 by stacey

so we lost yet another of our furbabies this Tuesday.  Miss Jingle Belle the pound puppy that we got back in 2002 has gone over the rainbow bridge where all the good doggies go when the time has come.  She was met I’m sure by Chief (bubby), Baloo, Racer, Jack, Rosie, Fidget, Holly, Elvis (Kasey), Lacey, J-baby (jewel), and all the others that we have had come and go over the years.  She was a great companion dog and she will be greatly missed.  She was a pound puppy that I adopted when I worked for the animal shelter 12 years ago and the only one that I adopted while I was there and she was to be put down cause she was in a kennel next to other puppies that blew Parvo after being put out in the adoption room and as standard protocol anything that was a potential threat to the population was to be put down as well and since she was in the kennel next to them she was on the list and I couldn’t have that.  She was to sweet and she had been in my office with me the day it happened so I adopted her to save her from that certain deed and took my chances that she would be ok.  To my luck she was fine, and lived a long and happy life with us.  We got her Xmax eve and named her Jingle Belle.  She was a Aussie/english setter mix and she was awesome!  She was always the even tempered dog in the pack and she knew when to be the dominant and stand her ground and she pretty much ran the place without having to do much to keep all the rest in line.

She helped to raise alot of puppies and she was great with the litters that had to be seperated and weaned from momma dogs so they could go to their new homes, and when I brought a new pup home she was the one we always entrusted to be sure that they learned the rules of the yard and the pack and she was the one I never had to worry about hurting the newbies.  She always taught them that biting was bad and to be gentle and what was allowed and what was not and she loved to snuggle the little newbies and let them sleep on her or between her body to keep warm and happy.  she would clean them if they needed some care but then let them be babies as well.  she did her job and she did it well and she was a lover till the end.

Hubby had to make the hard choice this time as she was for the most part his companion dog.  She loved that man like nobody else and of all the dogs she looked up to him the most.  She would do anything for hubby all he had to do was ask and he always called her a lady.  She was always Miss Belle to him and she was his “baby girl”.  He really didn’t want to admit that she was ready even if he wasn’t, but after all she had given to him he gave into her needs and let her go onto the bridge.  She will be waiting for him on the other side when his time comes of that I am very sure as her loved her with all he had.  He boobed more that anything when she was gone, but held her till the end.  She was his baby.

That makes 3 in the last 8 weeks and we are just devastated.  One was just a tragic loss for our chief and that about killed us both, j-baby was a hard one but she had cancer throughout her body and it showed and she hurt bad, and this one we never will know what was the cause, my guess is she had a stoke at some point and she paralized portions of her stomach and bowels and that is what caused her to just quit eating at all or drinking and dropping the weight and finally started shutting her body down.  We tried everything and nothing worked.  So it was time.  Sad but true.

Now we have just 2 fur babies, one Neurotic Yellow Lab,  Gatty, and one sweet but typical beagle Legacy (CeCe), and for now that is how it will be.  Gatty is not going to last another 5 years if that at best as he is a crazy machine, he has worn most of his teeth down to the nubs with his stick and he has managed to booger up one of his hind legs in the hips somehow so he has started to limp all the time now and there is just nothing we can do for him, nor will we as he would NEVER handle being put in a small area or kenneled up, he would go crazy so when the back leg gives totally out or the hip goes I will not even try to prolong it for him as it would not work for him.  He has to be mobile all the time, the only time he holds still at all if to eat and even then he dances around the dish the whole time he is eating then he is off like a shot.  He never even stands still to let you pet him, he is just crazy like his dad.  move move move and move more.  2 speeds fast and faster.  Crazy Gatlin!   Cece is my beagle baby the end of a part of my life that I can never get back and the last of the last.  She is great but she is a typical beagle and she opens the frig, gets in the trash, catfood, anything that she can and it doesn’t matter what the consequences of her actions are it was all worth it at the time as far as she is concerned so she will be the last.  She was the last of the litter that her daddy ever fathered and that is done for me.  I can’t think of another beagle ever.  I had the best and the rest just will never measure up so it ends with her.  She is her fathers Legacy of greatness of the beagles……..for me anyway.

We are now in the process of finding a puppy to be a house dog and companion for the old people.  Not that we can replace any of the losses that we have had but just to fill the gap that has been left in our empty house.  Chief drown in the pool and he was our ultimate house dog.  He was wonderful and when he was lost he left a huge hole in our lives and we know we can’t replace him ever but we thought if we found a pup that we could pour all that love into again it might start to help to take the edge off the hurt and we have going right now and we could put that energy into starting puppy training.  It took me 8 months to find that perfect pup  when I started looking for Chief and so I figure if I start now maybe someday I can find another one that says pick me pick me I am perfect for you.  here’s to hoping anyway.  We have a line on a litter that is out of the same sire and dam as Chief was and if I wait till july I can have the pick of the litter and take one or 2 if there is 2 that want us, but the thing is they have to pick me i don’t pick them, they pick me or it’s not the right one.  What if I wait all that time and and then none of them pick me.  OMG how would that be!  I would be crushed, so I am starting to look around to see what else is out there and whom breeds that mix that if nothing comes of this litter maybe something else will come to be somewhere else.  I am hoping for the best but the way my luck is running lately I don’t think I better bank on only that.

My luck has just sucked lately and so far 2015 has not been a good start at all.

Here’s to hoping it gets better soon.



Posted January 9th, 2015 by stacey

Things are starting to come into focus.  We are still having a tough time with the loss of our dear sweet 18 month old pup and our pride and joy Chief, but at least I can make it through a whole day most of the time without tears.  I don’t know what has gotten into me but whatever it is it takes all I have and then some to just make it through a day of no tears.  I can’t get past the guilt about it all and I hate to even look out the back door at that damned pool.  I have the worst time with it and it is going to haunt me forever I think.  I can’t figure out what to do from here but wait for the hurt to leave.  I try to just take all that love and affection and put it to the other dogs and the cat and hubby but it’s just not working.  It helps but it doesn’t take away the hurt and the loss and the tears.  I think sometimes it actually makes it worse.

So for now just coping is what I need to do.

Work helps cause it gives me no time to think as I am overly busy while at work but it’s before work and after work that gives me to much excess time to think and thinking is not my friend at all.  I try to keep so busy I can’t think and keep moving, but at some point you have to sit or you will just fall down.  The lack of sleep is also and huge factor but I close my eyes and all I see is him there in the pool and that sets off the nightmares and I can’t do that.  So I get up and clean or try to read my books or anything other than close my eyes.  I hope it gets better soon cause no sleep is not a good thing.

Well off to do more work, can’t sit to long or I again tear up and start to think……….


Lots of changes

Posted January 5th, 2015 by stacey

Life has been a battle of ups and downs and a busy mind sometimes is a persons worst enemy. My mind is definately my enemy when its hit overload and cant find a way to turn it off.  lack of sleep, to many tears, and not knowing what is going to hit me next is certainly not good for me.  I have missed journaling and blogging.  Not so much for others but for my own self preservation.  I started blogging years ago and like all things life gets in the way and i fall out of step with it but i find that when i journal or blog i can get stuff out of my head and onto paper or whatever and i deal better.  I have alot going on inside and just cant keep it all together lately.  I dont cry, its just not something i do.  But…lately the tears are comimg more and more frequently and i am having a very difficult time dealing with it.  Some people cry and i get it im just not one of them.  Part of it is that when my father paassed i was told i had to be tough, i had to take care of mom and for my brother and sister and be strong for all of them they needed me to be tough and help them be ok and step in and do things and hold it together.  When i allowed myself to break down i learned to do it in private where nobody could hear or see it so i wouldn’t be weak and if you do it for long enough you can fake the tough act well enough that you actually start to believe it.  “Fake it till you make it”.  And i perfected it in my world.  I convinced myself and others around me that i was tough and just dealt with stuff and not much set me off.  And people started to believe that i was hard, closed off, cold and somewhat even uncaring, do to the fact that i am so not a crier.  They have no idea about how or whom i am and i dont hug people iether.  So that just made them think it even more.  Its hard to be someone sometimes when you are trying to be what others think you should be and what was expected of you and then they say and do hurtful things just to see if you respond someway that they think is appropriate in their eyes.  I dont know what it is people want from me anymore.  I try to be tough, i try to be kind, i try to do the right thing but it just keeps comimg back to kick me in the teeth.

I don’t hug people, you have to be really someone that is family for me to hug you.  I find that when I have a hard time dealing with things if I hug someone that it makes it hard to be tough.  Even family is hard for me if I already am at my breaking point and holding alot in.  I think it’s a coping mechanism for me.  I have to distance myself in order to keep it all together.  I go to a funeral and I don’t hug anybody.  I can sit thru the whole thing and shed a few tears but not all out bawl, and then when it’s over I can go and give my condolences and that is all good, but if they hug me or I try to hug them it’s all over.  I loose it and then I leave very fast and go to my car and cry alone.  I don’t like to be weak in front of people.  My mom says it’s not weak to cry it’s normal and that is just way to contradictory from what people expect of me.  Even my husband thinks that I keep to much inside and he doesn’t see it as weak, but it crushes him when I cry so I try to hide it from him too.  I hate to see others hurt by not knowing how to deal with a crying person.  I just make it easy for them by not putting them in the situation that makes them uncomfortable.  I just don’t.  But then they think that I am the cold hearted person.  I’m really not.  I hurt, I cry, I get angry and hurt and mourn just like other people do.  WTH!

This year has been quite a tough road for me personally.  I have lost alot of people in my life both physically and lost them in other ways as well.  You can just only take so much before you start doubting yourself and the way you live your life and try to figure out what or how it went wrong.  I have lost people, one being my uncle Keith, uncle Francis, cousin Kevin, cousin Doug, Randys dad, and pets.  I don’t know how much more one person can handle.  I am hoping that 2015 will be less loss and more happy but so far it’s started out not on a fabulous note.  I have lost people in other ways this way as well.  Not in the dieing sense but there are many ways to “loose” someone and those are sometimes just as hurtful.  I lost a couple of friends, or what I thought were friends and one I know why and the other……well not really sure…………..  The one I know why was that I stepped into a domestic dispute at her request and got her out of the house for a bit to give them both time to calm down, which didn’t work actually cause he blew up my phone with calls and texts and nasty voicemails and then she went right back to him and that was after she had called and talked to the cops about him and all of the mess, and after he had left my house in a huff and hit 2 of the neighbors puppies and killed them and then never stopped.  It’s a long sorted story that I am not going to even think about right now but she turned him into the cops while at my house not me and she went back to him and that is not my thing to tell her not to.  I told her that if she wanted me to take her home that was fine I had no issue doing that but i would NOT come back later that night and get her again.  Her choice.  Whatever she wanted was fine with me.  I just was a friend to come get her and try to give them some time to space and time to not let it escalate further.  As per HER request.  Anyway then when he met us on the road to her house he screamed at me, threatened me, and she did nothing, but get in his truck and leave me hanging, scared and with no protection from her maniac husband!  I was alone, I did her a favor and she left me out to dry and face him alone.  Now how is that even right!  So I lost that friend, and I guess good ridance.  I did something as a friend and she left me out to dry, and told her husband that I was the one that turned her into the police.  So not true. but whatever.  The other friend, still not sure what I did there or how it came about but she just kinda wont have anything to do with me anymore.  I thought we were close, we had done all the beagle things together, spent time at her area together, even was part of the wedding of her daughter and now nothing.  I have tried to reach out but nothing ever seems to come of it so I have just resolved myself that I must have done something to upset her enough that she no longer wants to be friends.  Not sure why but I get it I guess, maybe we have nothing in common anymore, or we have just found a different path in life.  I try not to say things to hurt people or offend them but maybe inadvertantly I did say or do something to warrant her pulling away.  If so I am truely sorry.  But I have to move on and call it a part of my life that is done.  Cried over that loss but it wasn’t the worst thing that happened this year and although it hurt, I cope.

Some other losses that I have been thru this year are the loss of a few pets.  We lost Racer, Jack, Rosie, Baloo, and others over the years, many cats and dogs that I am sure I have never spoken off but this year has taken a toll.  We had to put most recently down j-baby, or Jewel.  She lived with Megan for the past several years and she was a Racer pup, one of the last litter that was born at our place.  I loved her but she was Megz baby beagle so she had her for the past 3 years at her place.  She has always been a great little beagle.  Way overweight and happy, but she got really skinny really fast and the growth on her side grew in leaps and bounds and after a hard fight we finally decided she was in pain more than not so it was time.  so on the 18th of December we put her down and had her cremated.  That hurt alot!

Then on Dec. 22nd I got home an my bc/aussie 17 month old didn’t meet me at the window of the house when I drove in and that was not like him at all.  He was the love of my life.  He was my baby.  We are empty nesters totally now so we got him to be our “go dog” “shop dog” “old people companion”, and he was PERFECT.  He was my little blue eyed monster and he was so cute and funny and wonderful.  He was all that and the whole bag of chips!  He was my sunshine each day and hubby’s too.  He was our best buddy.  I wasn’t to concerned that he wasn’t in the house to start, he had a dog door and might be outside playing, but when I called and he didn’t come I had a gut feeling.  I tried to tell myself he was locked in a outside room by mistake, or hubby had come and taken him to work, but he didn’t leave a note letting me know, so I called and he said no.  I knew then something was horribly wrong.  I called I checked all over the house and yard, then my worst fear was discovered.  I found something floating in the above ground pool.  I thought it was a piece of black plastic or a coat, but when I went around the side I saw it was my baby!  He had somehow gotten into the pool and drown.  I screamed I cried I cursed I got in and got him out and called hubby for help, but there was no help for what had happened.  he was gone forever.  I don’t think I could have ever imagined!  he hated water, he never even looked or put paws on the pool, I don’t think he even knew what it was or anything.  He never jumped iether so we really have no idea what happened to him or how he got in there.  Fluke accident I guess.  After that the past few weeks I can’t stop crying, or being blue, I can’t eat, don’t sleep, I am in a funk I just can’t shake and my hubby is very crazy with all the crying.  He doesn’t see it often in the past 28 years and it kills him to see it now and not know how to make it better, there is no better for this.  I have become very closed off and don’t even hug my mom or the kids cause if I do I break in parts and peices and loose it again.  I can’t seem to get a handle on this one at all.  It killed a part of me that is broken and I don’t know how to fix it.  And moving on is just to much right now.  I can’t stand to be home alone anymore, so not me, and I hate to look around and know he is not there and never will be again.  What is wrong with me!

But I keep trying to move ahead and on…………………NOT WORKING

Chief  “Bubby” has been one of the hardest losses for me……

The waterworks just don’t stop anymore.  I think it was just the last straw in a long string of things and I need to figure out how to get back to the me I used to be.  I don’t want to love anymore or be a friend if it hurts this bad to loose things.  maybe the way I was is the better way for me cause if you don’t care and don’t love maybe it won’t hurt when they leave.  I can try and tell myself that but if that is truely what I do and believe then what a horrible lonely life and I don’t want to be that person.  Then I really will become the cold hearted bitch people think I already am.  So not me, but I guess people see what they want to see when your emotions are not what they deem as the “normal” things people are supposed to do.  I give up……….

Well along with those changes there are others as well.  Job changes that were good and made me very happy and then changed again to what they were before.  Not so happy about them anymore, and now I am back to working all the time and have very little down time till I can go back to the job change that made me happy again.  I wish things would have turned out differently this past year but they didn’t so you move on.  You play the hand that you are dealt but right now I hate this hand and want to change it but I committed to something and I have to see it thru.  I am not a quitter and if I give you my word on something I do my very best to keep it.  So here I am hating where and what I am doing but sticking it out anyway.  Home life changes all the time too and it’s got it ups and downs, but hoping the new year will help me get a handle on that as well.  We struggle to keep everything going and working right, but it’s hard and we can’t find the time to get it all done and keep other things from coming apart in the meantime.  But we try.  3 more years and the business will be paid off and we can try to pay off my house instead and maybe fix it up and sell it instead.  That is the hope anyway.  we will see.

Well, work calls me again. I think blogging is helping to put some of the shit in my head out and deal with it and see it for what it is.


Sucked back in……

Posted January 5th, 2015 by stacey

So I gave my old work 6 months notice that I would be leaving employment after 10 years there and going to work for my hubby and myself at the spa / pool store.  I gave my notice IN PERSON in November and then left at the very end of May to go to work at our own business that we have owned for the past 6 years now in April.  I did tell them that I would come back if they needed me to off and on as a “contracted labor” worker, but didn’t really think they would take me up on it.  I also told them that I didn’t think that the person taking my place was going to stick around and could not handle the workload that I did and that she would more than likely leave and honestly gave her 8 weeks tops on the job when I left.  Not that I am that good but just that she didn’t have the work ethics and she was on the phone all the time to her hubby and she didn’t really know the job like they thought.  She is the same worker that had been there for the past 8 years and she always took the credit for the tasks that I had done.  If it was a “we” project or task we were given then she would leave it to me to do and I did it cause it was part of the job and if I didn’t it might never get done, and then when it was finished, we little to no help from her in most cases, she would be the one to say “oh im heading that way anyway so I’ll just take it in and drop it on his desk and let them know that it is done”.  WTH, but whatever don’t rock the boat right.  Well when I was leaving I dropped the bomb on them about how they thought that she needed to teach me some stuff and I heard that comment alot in my 8 years working in the office with her cause they thought she did alot of the stuff I had been doing for years.  When I finally decided to leave that was one of the things that I made very clear when I got a chance to say why I was leaving.  I told them…..she can’t teach me anything I don’t already know, and that for them to know that all the work that they thought she did they are sadly mistaken, it is me whom needs to teach her for weeks so she can do the actual job that they thought she had been doing for years and not me, but they thought I was overexagerating things.  Boy are they shocked when I left.  She couldn’t handle it and had to call me all the time to get information.  After a couple of weeks of that we had a little chat and the bosses got a clue, but it took me leaving to actually find it out.  So now needless to say I am back in again, working part time for the next few months at least to train a gal for the job that I was doing all along.  I have a contract and am back on the company payroll for at least a few more months and it’s gonna be a really long 4 months……

to train and get her up to speed will take a bit but she is someone that can and will do the job and is a great fit for the office and so far is learning fast and not afraid to ask questions and takes notes.  So it’s all good for now.

will hope for the best for all involved.  started this post back in october and just finally found time to finish

more postings later.



Posted March 27th, 2014 by stacey

I finally have done it!  I’ve moved on and up and have finally left my job and am now working for my own company!  Well me and my husbands company.  We have owned if for the past 6 years and I have stayed with the company that I worked for for the last 10 years while always wanting to work for myself and it’s finally happened!  I’m so excited, I have been on pins and needles for the past 6 months!  I have my old office 5 months notice that this was going to happen in April, wasn’t sure if it would be the 1st of April or the last of it but definately April this year and here it is.  Just so happens that it is the 1st of April and now it’s done.

I will officially be parting ways 3/28/14!  YEAH!

I have to say I will miss the people that I worked with but not the stress and crap that went with it all.  I have made it a good move for me by giving them so much notice and even said I would come back and fill in here and there on contract labor if they would like me to when others in my department were on vacation or should something arise and they agreed to that and will pay me healthily for it.  So I have parted ways with my head up and with that bridge firmly intact so it’s all good.  I have been really looking forward to this and it’s a whole new game for me.  I love working with hubby and he needs the help badly, things in the office are starting to get really overwhelming with him being the service and sales guy and the office guy too so me coming on will take some of the stress off and I’m learning as I go but have been working here off and on for the last year on my days off as well so the learning curve is steep but I’m getting there in record time just learning from hubby and working thru it all.

So heres to onward and upward and can’t wait to start a new chapter in my crazy life!


om gosh so many things going on!

Posted January 25th, 2014 by stacey

So it’s been months since I blogged!  There have been so many changes in my life since then.  I read over some of the last few posts and it’s crazy the things that have changed since them.  Holy Cow!

Lets see, I have been working non stop at my job, and then days I’m not there I’m working at the spa store, and then at home as well.  I have been doing hair at home in my salon alot as well on the Sundays and days I have taken off from both of the shops so that I can get alittle downtime.  We painted our house both inside and out, well out is about 3/4 done and then the weather got to nasty to continue so it has to wait till it warms up again, we put in new vinyl windows on almost the whole upper floor.  What a job that was, breaking out all the old single pain glass and casings and then installing new windows, but it looks fantastic and I love it.  Thanks to the hubby whom is a wiz at stuff like that we got it all done in only 3 days!  WootWoot!  Then the painting really took shape.  We cut out old trees and got our pool set up done and it looks fab!  We took some of the old tree trunks that were rotted and used them as huge planters, have pics I guess I need to load and show off as they were great!  Not so right now all covered in snow still and not very pretty with no florals in them yet, I cant wait for spring and summer again.

The kids are doing ok, Nick is working off some of his time so he wont have to spend any days in the clink, kids are making me crazy but it’s ok, he is still working at our shop a few days a week and doing ok there, Megz is still in limbo wit the whole marriage thing, I think they are trying to work it out but I guess I don’t care one way or the other in that family, I can’t stand her hubby he is so lazy it about drives me battshit crazy but I don’t have to live with the ass so I guess it’s on her not me.  I just love the grankids and Megz the rest of that family can bite me!  Brandy is due to have another kid in about 6 months and she is excited about it and they are looking to buy another house, her first marriage went south and she took it all in stides and has rebuild a life for her and Tay and its all working for her without the xhubby so it’s all good, the new guy is great but they aren’t married and not sure when or if they will be but it’s just not my issue so I don’t push one way or the other.  They will figure it out or they won’t but for now it’s all about the baby and so far we are told they think it’s a boy.  So Tay will have  a little brother.  Yeah!

We got a new puppy about 6 months ago, as the hubby and I wanted a one for him.  He has missed his aussie/bcollie mix that we had since he had to be put down years ago so I did alot of searching and found one that picked us.  He is a black and white, not the blue merle that we were wanting originally, not that they didn’t have a couple but it wasn’t about the color it was about the dog that picked us.  And this one definately picked us.  He is all that and a bag of chips, he is overly smart, friendly, cute, funny, crazy and just so us.  EXCEPT  we wanted a dog that would travel with us to the coast on our trips and be a shop dog with Hubby and I and he hates the car.  He foams at the mouth, he drools to beat the band and he barfs if he rides to long! ugh!  All in my new TRUCK!  UGH!  I have to do some serious training and use so real skill to get that under control or he is never going to be able to make it to the coast with us.  HE can’t make it 30 miles without being sick in the truck so it’s got to be overcome. LOL  We will see.

I finally told my full time job that I was going to quit and gave them till April for that to happen and they were really nice about it.  I told them the end of November what my plan was and that I am going to work for hubby and they really were good about it.  I had thought that it would not go to well and they would be pissed but they didn’t and actually it’s taken alot off my shoulders and helps me be a bit more relaxed while I’m there.  I was so stressed it wasn’t even funny, I hated going to work.  Now things are a bit better, they know and I know there is an end date and it’s all good.  I’m hoping for sooner than later but I owe them to stay till April and then I’m done.  One job is more that enough in this stage of my life.  I want to relax a bit.  Enjoy some of my life again.  Haven’t seen friends in almost a year now and I miss it.  No time for fun when you work all the friggin time.

So om gosh there is so much going on in life it’s crazy!  I am hoping to get out to the coast again soon, I need a break from all of this, not sure it’s going to happen but maybe closer to the end of the year, but I need to be on a beach and watch the ocean waves for a bit to “center” me.

Well hope all is well with all


learning to be lazy

Posted May 11th, 2013 by stacey

I Am not sure I have ever been really lazy.  Even growing up I was always busy doing something from school or home or sports or chores there was never actually nothing to do.  we were taught to work hard and do your best s anything worth doing is worth doing right and the first time as well.  IWas never the kid that slept in for hours on any day ot watched tv for hours at a time, bored easilly and can’t sit still for to long.  NOt usually a bad thing but it is when you get to take a day that you dont have the ability to know how to relax and enjoy it.  I HAVE A FULL DAY TO MYSELF AND DO NOT KNOW HOW THE HELL TO FILL IT.  RELAX BE LAZY THEY SAY BUT……I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO DO THAT!!!!!!……..Trust meIAm trying but I am sitting here thinking about all the stuff I need to get done, or I guess I should do and I have been told NO, your going to rest relax and take a day and do nothing but be lazy,  what does that even mean?  gawd!  So I guess for today I will work on learning how to be a relaxed person or try to be one that takes a day to be lazy.  I am certain that it wont last long or go well but we can try.  does blogging in the bath count as a relaxed or being lazy thing cause all I can think about is buying flowers and mowing the yard and planting stuff and how this is not using my day wisely sitting here blogging instead of getting things ready for the next coming week.  pretty sure thats not what relaxing is all about.  l



Posted April 19th, 2013 by stacey

I am so excited, we are heading out the coast on saturday for a few days and I can’t wait. I have been waiting and working towards this for the past several months and it’s finally here. We are taking mom and Brandy and Tayty with us for the first 4 or 5 days then they will head home and hubby and I will stay for a few more totally alone. Woohoo
It’s way overdue for me as I have been working nonstop for the past months with no days off between home kids work and the business every spare day I get I work somewhere and I’m tired out. it’s way past time for a little downtime. I think I have more than earned a little break. Hope it’s all we have been looking forward too and then some. Good weather is always a plus but if it’s not great then we will stay in and enjoy the weather and the waves and the sunsets anyway and do some very relaxing reading!

grankids and the like……

Posted April 17th, 2013 by stacey

So it’s been awhile since I updated on the grankids and the like so I have a bit of free time finally and thought I should put some stuff in.

The kids are growing like weeds in the garden and they get cuter and funnier all the time. 

Taytum or Tayty is now almost 6 and she is a kick in the shorts all the time, she is a bundle of high energy and she is fantastic!  She does gymnastics with 8 – 12 year olds 3 times a week and can blow some of them out of the water with the beam and floor stuff.  She is unstopable!  She made the team and can’t actually compete around the state till  next year but she is ready and brave as crap!  It’s hard to watch her do some of the stuff cause you know if she misses it’s gonna hurt bad, but she is fearless!  She is cute as can be and a ball to be around and she loves the beach and agate hunting and looking at all of them when we are at home.  She loves to sit and color with me in our “special” colorbooks.  She is a HUGE harry potter fan and we always have to have a movie at night when she stays with us and it’s always a harry movie.  LOL  go figure!

Then there’s Ethan, and he has the trach out and he has a voice, it’s not as loud as most kids but it’s there and he knows how to use it!  He loves to smile and laugh and be a real boy!  He loves to be outside and with the big dogs and playing.  He loves the sandbox and the slides and everything to do with being outdoors!  You can’t keep that boy indoors!  He has had enough of that!  he is a busy kid and he is so funny, he is always smiling no matter what happens and he is a trooper and a half.  He had to go down to SLC last month for a check and he got a clean bill of health for the 6 months that he has been free and they are weaning off some of the meds finally.  So he now goes back in July for a scope is all then they will determine if they can keep weaning off the meds and do without some altogether finally.  So here’s to hoping!

Riley is our most difficult, as he likes his dad, mom, and family but not so much a big fan of people outside of his house of family.  We try but when he even looks at me he starts to lip quiver and doesn’t want to be held or anything, so he is a difficult one to bond with at all.  He is so much like his dad it sucks!  But oh well to each his own.  He comes over to grammy and papas and wont even try to interact so it makes it hard on us.  One day maybe the boy will come around but so far no go.  You would think at almost 3 he would be over that but nope.

Then there’s little miss Maddilyn, AKA Peanut!  She is a doll!  I love her to bits and peices!  Papa loves the girly too and she is the most happy of all the babies!  She is cute and sweet and she is all smiles and giggles!  She is almost 8 months now and she is so little!  She is a ittybitty thing and don’t think she is going to ever grow.  lol.  She is moving all over the place and she is teething and even then she is smiling like nothing is going on!  She is a cutie and has the personallity like taytum, a go getter and she thinks her big brother ethan is the bomb!  lol

Anyway that is it for the grankids and they are all over all the time at grammy and papas and we are loving it all!  We love the grands!

Kids are all doing well too.  Brandy is finally 2 months from her bachlors in psychology and then she is 8 months from her masters and she is working already as a paid intership and loving it.  She is finally out on her own again with Tay and they have a place finally.  megz and family are doing good, living in the little house we bought a couple years ago and making it a really nice little home for themselves.  Took a bit to finally get them to take care of the yard and stuff on their own and not depend on us for  it and it’s working out good now.  Nick is just Nick at this point, he is hanging out with grampa alot and they have  a place together, he is dating a gal and so far seems to be doing pretty well there, but he has an issue with alcohol and that worries me ALOT, but we will see if he can come around in a bit from that.  We are still working on it with him.

As for me and hubby we are just busy busy busy and trying to keep it all together and heading the right direction.  Business is slow but steady and always gets better so it’s a good thing.  We are heading out to the beach very very soon adn we are totally ready to get a break from the busy life we are living right now and take a slowdown.

Beachcation here we come!  YES!